So you want to be a Bollywood star??

So many of you might have heard that I was to be an extra in a Bollywood film. Well, the truth is I was an extra in a Bollywood-produced-TV Series-in-its-3rd season. Recruiters often hang around South Mumbai, also known as Colaba, looking for foreigners to partake in Bollywood films. They pay a small wage, but most are more excited about participating than the money.

The recruiter (Imran Giles) lied to the 31 of us backpackers about what we would be doing, where we would be going and the fact that it wasn't even a movie. We hadn't realized until we were on a bus for nearly 3.5 sweaty hours up a foggy mountain 50 km away from Pune in Lonavala and saw the Bigg Boss Season 3 signs. Bigg Boss is the Indian version of the US TV show Big Brother. At least, we were there for the season premiere. When we arrived, no one seemed to have idea of what we would be doing. We were waiting for costumes and make-up, but apparently that was a false promise and we all showed up looking exactly like dingy and scruffy backpackers not dressed for the cooler temperatures of the mountain.

After a brief snack, water and chai we were ushered after the six thousand Indians into the entrance way for the contestants. There was a red carpet rolled out along with rails lined with hundreds of people leading up to the door for the stage area. We could not figure out the exact role of having 31 foreigners cheer for hours for these people, who ended up being not even B-list Bollywood stars, comedians, and a German model (that dreams of being a star here in India). The closest one to looking familiar was one that I was pretty sure was Professor Snape from Harry Potter (in reality he was a fashion designer). Since we had no idea of what was planned or going on, or that if we had known that we would be standing for 5 hours cheering, most of us would not have signed up. It started raining tremendously hard, and we were warned that we would have to spend the entire night there and leave in the morning. Most of us were less than pleased upon hearing this announcement.

I was determined to get on camera since I was there and I would make the most of it. We laughed so hard at the absurdity of the situation and made each other laugh. There were plenty of jokes about becoming a YouTube star by doing something absurd down the red carpet in front of the cameras, but then thought becoming disliked by a billion people and getting kicked out of the country outweighed stardom. We were the worst extras I think in the history of Bollywood TV. Most of us were freezing, upset, complaining to our wrangler, disappearing for the occasional chai and crackers, cigarette or bathroom break. We also looked like bums that they found on the street, maybe they regretted not giving us costumes as promised. Finally, the last contestant came down the red carpet and we thought we were home-free. Instead it was time for a curry rice dinner and the to the bus.

Once we arrived to the bus, noticed that all of our stuff was still there. They wouldn't let us bring our stuff with us to the shoot and forced us to leave it on the bus. I called the family I was staying with to let them know that we were just leaving and that the rain would slow us down. That's when the driver noticed that hey there aren't any headlights. This was a bit scary as we noticed the dozen or so signs that said "dangerous monsoon rains, drive slowly" and the thick layer of fog and low visibility. The driver and others worked for a half hour on the lights, but no luck. We drove around the set area trying to figure out what to do, and every time we stopped the thousands of stranded Indians looking for a way home noticed the bus full of foreigners and tried many times to get a ride (a tiny bit scary at the time).

The lot of us had a discussion whether to spend the night or go, after demanding a new bus (no luck with that). We were promised a convoy style of transport, where the front bus had headlights (and no tail lights) and the back seemed to have both. I managed to sleep a couple hours and would wake up to everyone screaming for their dear lives for the driving to stop, slow down, or pull over. My heart raced as I could not see more than a meter or two in front of the bus out of the front window. We managed to make it off of the mountain in only 2 hours (only 30 minutes to get there originally), and onto the expressway. The driver hit a retaining barrier and my heart just about leaped out of my chest. This adventure deceivingly seemed to get better and then much worse. We made it to a road stop for food and drinks and decided that it was best to wait another 40 minutes for the sun to come up. Once the sun peeked in the sky we got back on the bus and headed straight and quickly for Mumbai. Our driver only nodded off once, and woke up at our screams as we b-lined right for the edge of the road.

I made it back safely at 7 am (instead of the promised 2 am) and yes I was on TV a couple times in my T-shirt, Tevas and fisherman cropped pants. I'm not sure I have ever laughed so hard or experienced so many emotions in such a short span of time. I guess this was a nice introduction to India, because the rest will seem like a breeze. I am thankful I am alive and have both of my kidneys. I'm not sure I am cut out for Bollywood movies.